Although I am a junior, I would like to speak on something which I hear some seniors talk about; how they feel about graduating high school as the date approaches closer and closer, the start to a new path to journey on. To some the four-year journey may have zoomed by, for others it might have felt like ages. Regardless it is a new chapter for new things to discover. Some seniors are planning to attend college to go for majors in a variety of things like, psychology, musical theater, engineering, and many more. Others might be deciding to go down the military path, and others are taking some more time to figure things out, which is perfectly okay. The similarity amongst it all is one of a future veiled with a thick fog that our future hides behind. Amongst all this fog is a path that may take many twists and turns, tragedies, dreams come true, and much more. But I feel dealing with this unknown and leaving this chapter of your life can be seen even applicable for any person at any time.

Take COVID-19 for example, that was a new chapter in all our lives as we remained quarantined in our homes. Where we had to adapt and learn to live a new way which many had never experienced before. Technology still being important before bared even greater importance in our everyday lives then. We wore masks to protect ourselves from catching the virus, and the world we knew appeared empty, both physically and mentally. Some of you may or may not have lost family members, pets, or even friends. But in the end, a vaccine was found and slowly but surely, we began to get back to everyday life, jumping back into a world post COVID. Each of us had hopes to return to the world as it was before.

 Even then it could never be the same. When we face drastic changes in our lives, another chapter ends in the story of our lives just as another one begins. Although COVID is a vastly different change then things such as graduating high school or moving on from middle school to high school, the point still remains that you moved onto the next chapter regardless, and it is up to you how you will walk down that path. You could sit and do nothing in it if you wish or try running back to the old path, but this will always happen and if you are here now, you have since then continued to keep going. Let me tell you a personal story of mine to describe this more:

Upon entering my freshman year here, I started going back and forth between my mother’s and father’s households again since I was with my mother most of the time during COVID because my father’s hereditary liver problems. Tensions have been growing between the two which was slowly draining my mental health after dealing with this since the earliest memory I can recall, COVID never changed that. A life which I went back and forth constantly, week after week, which was tiring for various reasons to say the least. 

I remember it was the weekend before Thanksgiving break when my father sent me a text message along the lines saying, ‘I better not come empty handed,’ in reference to getting my Stepmother a gift for her birthday. Initially I panicked but I came to the conclusion soon after that I was not going to get the gift.

I should pause here and talk about the importance of my stepmother here. At first, she helped me with math and taught me how to ride a bike when she entered my life sometime when I was in elementary school. A woman who deserves a gift from whom she helped so much, no? What one might not see was underneath that generosity was a vile woman who displayed narcissistic traits such as manipulation, a feeling of grandiosity, lack of empathy, and masked insecurities which she projected onto my siblings and me. I was at Wa Toy with her, my dad, and older brother once. We were sitting at a booth when I got distracted, looking at the TV behind me playing Avatar directed by James Cameron. I distinctly remember it was the scene where they are flying those alien bird creatures. My stepmother did not take kindly to me being focused on the TV and responded by throwing a chopstick at my eyes. So as one could imagine, it made living with her quite difficult to put it lightly. Each week with a new barrage of extreme expectations, hour long pep talks for messing up one small rule like forgetting to set up the table, accusing my brother and I of ‘bullying her,’ and so much more exhausting mentally abusive tactics. 

Anyways, you could imagine my father and stepmother didn’t react too well to no gift that I got kicked out, not allowed to take my own violin with me. It was the walk of shame; I was disgusted with myself as I simultaneously held this melancholic rage in my soul. Life was different for me after, it was a new chapter, one where my father’s facade fell once and for all, a deep betrayal that hurt as much as a million daggers. 

Even though I was free from my father’s and stepmother’s lies for almost a decade, I still nonetheless fell into a depression, and although I remained to get good grades, I dropped out of sports, stopped practicing violin, and withdrew from other various activities I once enjoyed. This new path was one of great loss and sadness, a life I had known my whole life finally boiled over, but I continued walking, nonetheless. In my sophomore year I decided I had to stop just living and getting by, so I did just that. I auditioned and got a part as violin two in Seussical the Musical. I got to school around 6:30 AM in the morning everyday just to practice, I finally had some sort of purpose even if it was playing in a pit. I also started getting help to process the internal conflicts in my mind. From working on myself with the help of others, I got better, and the once grim path started to look just a bit brighter for once. At the end of the year I got elected for class representative which I continue to serve as of now. I participated more in theater after and have been doing a variety of other activities ever since. 

I guess the point I am trying to make here, is at the end of the day, we will all walk down a path shrouded in unfamiliarity, fear, and at times, sorrow, but it is up to us to decide to continue down that path towards a better life for us. There will be things we are not expecting and some things that we are. The journey varies from person to person, but there is an end to that path. And if someone is lost on such a path and there is a way you can help them, take a shot. You might end up making an impact on their lives too.  If such an option makes you hesitant, just look at your path and the journey you’ve been on. These new paths are scary but with each other and reinforced endurance to keep yourselves moving, you can find better days eventually and perhaps find comfort in new unknown paths.